Life

Woke up from nap just now and i was shock cause i didn't know whats going on. I mean, the sky is dark, i wasn't in my pyjamas, the air con was not on and I weren’t even sleeping properly on the bed.

Had English CA2 today. Before the test started, Faci actually gave us 10 minutes to rest. Most people were sleeping. I spent the 10 minutes in the theatre, trying to figure out what went wrong with my life. I don’t get it at times. I don’t get why sometimes I understand how is it that I should live my life yet I still get caught up with stuff that I shouldn’t even get involve in? Is it wrong to know how am I supposed to live my life at the age of 17? Cause I felt like it is. People around me are living the days as it goes by. Yet I’m constantly asking myself what is wrong, why am I feeling like this, is this what I should be doing and stuff like that.

No matter what I’m doing, I always strive to do my best. But why is it that people who are expecting from me can’t see how hard I’m trying and give me a break? I take everyone in my life seriously. That’s from the bottom of my heart. But why do people still choose to leave? Am i that bad? How can they simply just walk away after creating memories? This is another reason why I don’t get life. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has ever really taken me seriously.

Why is life so complicated? I feel so lost. I don’t know how to deal with people. I don’t even know how to deal with my own emotions sometimes. I hate how I let my emotions take me over so easily. I don’t want people to think or feel that I’m vulnerable. But that is who I am. I am vulnerable, I am insecure, I complain too much, I fall too easily, I believe people too easily, I think that everyone who treats me nicely are from the bottom of their hearts, I always fall for the wrong person. But that’s just me. Isn’t it? Sometimes it bothers me that I’m not pretty, I don’t have nice figure and I don’t have outstanding talent. But sometimes I remembered that I look normal, I am healthy and I can learn. Why am I so unappreciative.

Blogging always helps. Alright, gonna go watch some movies to relax now. Hahaha! Bye peeeeeeps! ^^