Its Monday. I don't usually feel blue on Monday but today was kind of... Blue. I have no idea why. I guess its because i have decided to put that guy away from my life and i'm feeling kind of weird right now cause i'm trying hard not to talk about him to anyone. I can't talk about him. Although when i do it makes me really high and happy, but i know i shouldn't. Its for the best, right?
Thinking about it, it has been pretty long since i last felt this way. Empty. I'm really exhausted. I know i have people around me that i can relate things to but sometimes some feelings just can't be described. Perhaps its not the feeling that i can't describe, but the reason to why i am feeling this way, i don't know. And so what if you tell them about how you feel? They don't understand. Even when they say they do, they don't. Ultimately it is still about me.
Thinking has become a habit since the day all these started - waking up and going to sleep to the thoughts of you. It has been a few months and i'm feeling really exhausted now. Exhausted because i'm thinking too much, exhausted because i have been trying so hard, exhausted because no matter how hard i try, i couldn't get your attention. But the best part is, i don't know what to do to stop all these thoughts from coming in. What am i suppose to do? I feel like a clown. I don't understand myself at all. We don't even have much memories together and its pretty obvious that you don't feel the same. But...
I always believe that when i try hard enough to get over it, i will. But i have been waiting for that day that i don't think about it for a minute or two and it never happens. I guess its time for me to not do anything anymore. Perhaps one day, i will really understand the meaning of 'The person you want the most is the one you are better off without.'
Sometimes you just got to take a break and stop trying. Goodnight guys.
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