Sun of an idiot me.

So i really really really went back to GI. I have to include so many 'really' cause even i myself cannot believe that this is happening. I mean, this indecisive sun of an idiot here, how can any boss still accept her back? I am surprise. Hahahaha. Sometimes i wonder how people around me stand me. I know they just want me to disappear sometimes. Like Rach always say 'Omg Angela ohmygod' and Zhihao 'You see the wall there?' Uh yeah. He don't have to continue. I know he wants me to run through it.

Whatever it is, i have decided and thats it. Yeah, people that i truly care about are not around to work with anymore. But i guess this is the time for me to learn to be independent. I am turning 17 soon. Yet sometimes i feel like i'm 15. I need to stop depending on people and start doing things like a 17. I guess shutting up is the first step to being 'mature' in a sense.

Hahaha okay i think this is damn funny but i always feel mature and smart until i open my mouth to realise how stupid i am. I wish i could react faster to what people say. Basically i just want to be smarter. Okay whatever. Hahahah I need to go and study PM already. 

Byebye guys!

Start living for ourselves

Its Friday! Omg. This is the real TGIF. Perfect weather, perfect timing, and everything is simply perfect. I can't wait for tomorrow cause i'm gonna go shoot fireworks again! With 3 other IG peeps! Hehehe!

Downloaded L4D2 on my lappy. Omg. I can't imagine myself playing that at night but i'm gonna try it tomorrow! Or maybe in the middle of the night when i wake up from my nap later on. Hehehe. Yeah man. Napping at this timing is crazy. But i'm crazy what. HAHAHA

Well, nothing much today. Just feeling a little empty but nope! I'm still good and living and happy! Heheh! Yeah, we can miss somebody so much that it affects our mood badly. But the choice is still ours. Why let anyone affect you so much? It doesn't make any sense. Its time for us to start living for ourselves. Hehehe. Alright, Goodnight!!!!! ^^

Life

Woke up from nap just now and i was shock cause i didn't know whats going on. I mean, the sky is dark, i wasn't in my pyjamas, the air con was not on and I weren’t even sleeping properly on the bed.

Had English CA2 today. Before the test started, Faci actually gave us 10 minutes to rest. Most people were sleeping. I spent the 10 minutes in the theatre, trying to figure out what went wrong with my life. I don’t get it at times. I don’t get why sometimes I understand how is it that I should live my life yet I still get caught up with stuff that I shouldn’t even get involve in? Is it wrong to know how am I supposed to live my life at the age of 17? Cause I felt like it is. People around me are living the days as it goes by. Yet I’m constantly asking myself what is wrong, why am I feeling like this, is this what I should be doing and stuff like that.

No matter what I’m doing, I always strive to do my best. But why is it that people who are expecting from me can’t see how hard I’m trying and give me a break? I take everyone in my life seriously. That’s from the bottom of my heart. But why do people still choose to leave? Am i that bad? How can they simply just walk away after creating memories? This is another reason why I don’t get life. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has ever really taken me seriously.

Why is life so complicated? I feel so lost. I don’t know how to deal with people. I don’t even know how to deal with my own emotions sometimes. I hate how I let my emotions take me over so easily. I don’t want people to think or feel that I’m vulnerable. But that is who I am. I am vulnerable, I am insecure, I complain too much, I fall too easily, I believe people too easily, I think that everyone who treats me nicely are from the bottom of their hearts, I always fall for the wrong person. But that’s just me. Isn’t it? Sometimes it bothers me that I’m not pretty, I don’t have nice figure and I don’t have outstanding talent. But sometimes I remembered that I look normal, I am healthy and I can learn. Why am I so unappreciative.

Blogging always helps. Alright, gonna go watch some movies to relax now. Hahaha! Bye peeeeeeps! ^^

Mitch Albom

Death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed.

I'm finally home after the field trip from Bugis. I swear i'm really extremely tired. But i had ice cream from BB just now and it was sooo good! Heheheh!

Wanted to visit maze but i couldn't wait for her cause i gotta rush home to complete my assignments. Saw Raymond instead and surprisingly, he ask me to go back for work. I would never have expected that from him man. I mean, after all i left and went back and left again. HAHAHA. Omg. Like clown sia.

All endings are actually beginnings. I left GI that time because i wanted a new beginning. Should i head back again? This question is not that important anyways. Right now i have no time for work. Shall see what happens when holiday starts.

Bought three books by Mitch Albom yesterday and i'm currently reading 'The five people you meet in Heaven'. Super interesting and inspiring. Go and read guys. Its really nice.

Alright, gonna head for dinner now. Bye all! ^^

Stay.

This song has been stuck in my head for long enough. Its nice. Hear it :)

That perfect moment

Shot from last Saturday

So thankful for today because class ended at 3:30pm. Its been long since i last left school this early. Projects and projects and projects. Life of a poly student...

I can't wait for Saturday! I'm going to shoot fireworks AGAIN. Hahaha. At first i thought i'm the only one who goes almost every week just to get an as-close-to-perfect-as-possible shot of the firework but i realise that last year my mentor actually did the same. HAHA! Like, going every single week to shoot. I guess thats what we do. We do our best to capture that perfect moment of people, things and memories.

I have been haunting for sad movie since just now but i can't find any. So, i guess i'm just gonna head to bed and watch something else tomorrow instead. Goodnight all! ^^

Self doubt

I was the happiest girl this weekend. TEEHEEE! Besides all the stress that i've been sucking up for the past 2 weeks, i think these 2 days made it all worthwhile. Went to shoot fireworks yesterday. And i'm definitely going back next Saturday because the smoke is such a burden it killed almost all my photos.

Reading those messages again and again like bedtime stories together with pictures of memories like movies playing in my head before i fall asleep last night. And i'm happy! Hehehe. I don't need a lot. I just want that attention once in a while. Am i asking for too much? Maybe i am. Hahaha. We are all humans. There's only so much we can remember. Who am i to expect anybody to remember me? This world is so big and i'm just one of the millions of people. Sometimes i wish there are more people who can make me feel like how you do. Make me laugh, make me feel secure and feel like myself. I didn't have to pretend to like anything that i don't or hide whatever that i want to say. I just can be like me. Why can't i have someone that makes me feel like this but at the same time feels happy when they are with me too. HAHAHA

OKAY. Last warning to myself. Its gonna be a tedious week again and i have to get prepared for this upcoming week. I CAN DO THIS! Spread the love guys! We all can do this! ^^ Alright, gonna prepare to head out for interview soon! Byebye all! 

That guy.

Ended my week with minions and Agnes and a guy. I was happy i am happy and i will still be happy tomorrow. HAHA. Do not judge me by my easily contentedness. Is that even a word. Okay whatever, but what i meant is that today is great because i have great movie and great company and i feel so goooood.

This guy, he's not my boyfriend. I don't exactly categorize him under my friend list either because when i'm with him, i don't feel like how i feel when i'm with any of my friends. I can't explain this exactly. I look forward to every outings with him. Please don't think that i'm obsessed or whatsoever. I'm just a girl in crush. HAHA. So what i'm trying to say is that although i caught my movie at Causeway point instead of anywhere else, it still felt like a mini getaway. The things that we talk about, is just so off life that it makes every outing a chill and relax one. I'm so thankful. So glad i found someone that could ever make me feel this way.

Award ceremony in 9 hours time. Another excited event. After the awards imma head to Raffles to meet my Photo IG peeps and prepare for fireworks shoot. Excited for that too! So basically, my weekend including Friday had been and i'm pretty sure will be the best for this month. Alright, gonna head to bed already. Goodnight all!

PRIDAY IS COMING

Its finally Friday tomorrow. Like, Finally! And the best part is that i'm gonna chill after school for some movie or whatsoever rather than staying at home or get stuck with work again. Thank god! Hehehe I am excited!

DT presentation ended quite well yesterday. I was extremely nervous. But i'm glad that i am still able to speak properly and bring out all my points, although the Faci wasn't looking at me 80% of the time. And i realise now that its rude when you're trying to bring some message across to that person and all he does is just look down on his paper. Whatever.

There's PE tomorrow. I'm so sick and tired of PE. Can't we just remove PE from the bloody timetable? Its redundant! Omg. But never mind. I forgive my timetable for my excited-ness. HAHA. Okay, its time for bed! Goodnight all! Will post soon! TEEEEHEEEEEE!

UCB

Have been working on presentation slides and report since after i finish bathing all the way till 10. Taken an hour break and its time to get back to work after this post. I am soooo tired and my head is like pounding. I'm not exaggerating. But in any case i will still have to get those slides in my head cause i don't wanna screw my presentation and affect my teammates tomorrow.

Am feeling kinda stressed up this week. I don't even know whats going on. I feel like i'm in a bullet train. I kind of captured the scenery outside the window but i can't remember anything in detail. I feel like i don't have time. Presentation after presentation, tests after tests, deadlines after deadlines. I am really physically and mentally exhausted.

Getting busy is good in a way because like i  have said before, it puts my mind off stuff that i don't want to think about. But this cannot continue cause my gastric is returning to haunt my stomach. The last time my gastric acted up was 6 months ago i guess. Was still working at GI back then. Hahaha. Omg.

Oh, i think i should talk a little about my UCB faci today. Class P has always been a fun class to go. I like everyone in there especially my group members. So as usual, not many were paying attention to her today. But i did because she's teaching about analyzing survey questions and its a continuation from the previous lesson, which was when i came up with the survey questions. So she was teaching and i was trying to follow but it was soo tedious (maybe its because i have pea brain) i couldn't understand anything. And guess what she did? She walked to my side, bend down and gave me her full attention. Yes, you didn't read that wrong. I was sitting on my chair and she's bending down beside me, guiding me through those shit on Excel. I was soo ... I don't even know how i'm feeling. Those mixed emotions that i'm feeling made me want to tear up. Part of me feel like as if i'm damn rude cause i'm sitting on a chair with my lappy on my lap and because there's not much space in between, she have to bend down to coach me. And another part of me feel so stressed up and so stupid because i can't understand what she's trying to teach. But i got it in the end. Hahaha. I have never understood anything in UCB. This is the first time i do. And i'm so thankful for a Faci like her because she didn't give up on me even when i already gave up on this module.

Alright. Its really time i should get my ass back to work. Damn. Gonna have to sacrifice my sleep tonight. Sleep early everyone. Goodnight and rest well ^^

Design thinking burden

Completed my DT report confidently and sent it to my Faci. Ten minutes later, i received his email that says 'Hi, you might want to resubmit this? It's not really following the topic given...' And in my mind i literally went like ......... So much for the confidence omg. Now i'm at a total lost i don't know what to do at all. Damn this. 

Anyways, heading to Chomp Pang for DT tomorrow. I'm quite excited actually. Hehehe. And then on Wednesday will be my DT presentation HOMUAGOD. Again, feeling extremely nervous. Lets just pray that i can get through that without stammering. And then Thursday theres CCA. After that it will be Friday again. Time is passing too fast i'm starting to get worried. Oh wait, where got time to be worried! Hahaha! 

Gonna end my post here. A really short one cause i have too much things to do! Hahaha! Gonna crack my brain on DT again. Bye guys!

Photos from NDP preview

Here are the photos peeps! ^^

The riders

 Some of these are underexposed but i think its kinda nice. HEHEHE

 Parachutists 

 Navy

 Kids! ^^

 I'm amazed by their neatness. HEHE ^^

 Navy

 Amazing! ^^

These are the photos! HEHEHE