Tired.

Its been long since i felt this level of tiredness. Physically i mean. But i'm still gonna blog first. Cause first, its been kind of long since i last posted and second, i'm feeling a little messed up.

Honestly blogging about my problems may seems like i'm a problematic person. But every time after i blog, i feel clearer about the things that i want to do. I think thats the most important isn't it? So for those who actually read my blog, bear with me. I'm not those type of blogger that post nice pictures and talks about daily life all the time. This is just a place for me to let out all my emotions.

Okay. Here i go.
So, its been long since i go back to work. Not really long. About 3 weeks. And 3 days ago was considered my first day. Keeping the reason why i actually chose to quit in the first place in mind, i told myself there is a need for change. If i wanna avoid problems, i have to start learning how to keep low-profile. I did. I stopped talking about anything that is outside of work. And yeah, i felt good. Cause i know i did the right thing.

Few days back i went out with my best friend from secondary school. We had a good talk for a few hours and i went for work. I realise that i actually felt so different when i'm with the 2 different groups of people. When i'm with my friend, i felt like myself. Its like i can be myself and i know i will be fine. But when i'm at work, i can't be myself. I feel like i'm so fake. Because of our age difference, i wanted acceptance from the people at work. Therefore i try so hard to blend in. To a point whereby i'm afraid that i might just lose myself and get carried away. I'm so afraid that i might change into the person i was in the past. I can't afford to walk back that old path again. I want to feel like myself. Like how i feel when i'm with my friend, having all my morals in me and seeing who i really am. I know, keeping low-profile is good. Its the first step to walking away from all those thoughts about changing negatively.

My brain is still too busy thinking. But my eyes are so dry its killing me. So, goodnight.