Haven't been maintaining my blog cause i'm lazy. HEHEHE. School will be starting in less than a month time. Not forgetting orientation that is happening next week. Superrrrrr excited!
I've been having holidays for 5 months. Its damn funny. Cause during my N level period, i was spamming myself with sessions and dance classes. I was so worried my results is going to get affected cause i dance too much and i told myself to stop for a month and continue after my major exams. So i really stopped. And after exams instead of dancing, i went to work. So i worked and worked and somehow, i don't know how, 5 months passed. Is not like i haven't have any fun during this 5 months. I've been to a few places that i never knew exist. So overall, i had fun!
I'm pretty sure i changed over this 5 months. Character wise, confidence wise, mindset and so on. Good and bad i guess. I get influenced too easily. Actually to be honest i've been fighting so hard not to get affected by people. I mean, its not easy having your mind and heart to say different things. Somehow you want to follow your mind. Cause thats always the easy way out. But you know only your heart tells you the right things. So... yeah. Following my heart this time, i'm leaving GI for real. Tomorrow is my second last day of work. I'm sooooo glad. And my dad is damn cute. He wanna celebrate for me. Haha!
Hmm.. I told my mum this morning that i want a getaway before school starts. Not anywhere far, just somewhere away from here where all the problems are. Someone once told me that actually there's nothing to worry about. Is like, if we have what we want, everythings good. If we don't, there's nothing we can do. Life goes on. Not like i don't know the theory of 'life goes on'. But how do we exactly get over it? Well, that use to bother me 24/7. But not anymore i guess. Its time to move on girl! The next chapter of my life is waiting for me. Meanwhile, i shall just bear with it.
Alright, goodnight!
Wednesday, 20 March 2013
Sunday, 10 March 2013
Getting over it
Hmm.. Another night like this. Haha. Hate this feeling. I've been telling myself that i ended it that night when i told myself its the last time for me dwell over it. But somehow i just can't stop thinking. I know this kind of thing happened to me so many times, enough for me to get used to it already but i can't. Okay, not that i can't. But its so tough.
Well, this problem is pissing me off seriously. Why is it always me? The first guy that walked out without explaining why, then comes the second and now the third. I mean, they all made the same promise but surprisingly all of them broke it. I can't blame the first one. But blame myself for believing the same words over and over again.
He didn't exactly walk out of my life. But its so different now. I mean, yeah la. Usually when people meet someone whose better looking and stuff, they replace you with them. Whats more, we are not together which means theres no obligations and stuff like that. I just don't understand how can people change so fast. Its really scary. When you are trying so hard to tell yourself not to fall, the small little things that they do just make you fall so hard. Those sweet talks, cute conversations, tight hugs and everything, it just changes overnight.
Damn.. So sick of this. Sometimes i wish i'm prettier and all. And then i remember what my mum says. 人长得美或不美不重要，心美最重要。
Hehehe. Now i feel better. I just need a place to pour all my emotions and i'll be fine. Hahah. School is starting soon. I hope things like this don't happen again. Angela, please. Stop falling into shits like this. Be smarter. People can't tell you how to feel. You need to learn.
I mean, i can't blame the guys after all. Is not their fault that i'm hurt. Its me. If i'm smarter and knows how to protect myself, these kind of things probably won't happen. So, yeah. Grow up girl! ^^
Well, this problem is pissing me off seriously. Why is it always me? The first guy that walked out without explaining why, then comes the second and now the third. I mean, they all made the same promise but surprisingly all of them broke it. I can't blame the first one. But blame myself for believing the same words over and over again.
He didn't exactly walk out of my life. But its so different now. I mean, yeah la. Usually when people meet someone whose better looking and stuff, they replace you with them. Whats more, we are not together which means theres no obligations and stuff like that. I just don't understand how can people change so fast. Its really scary. When you are trying so hard to tell yourself not to fall, the small little things that they do just make you fall so hard. Those sweet talks, cute conversations, tight hugs and everything, it just changes overnight.
Damn.. So sick of this. Sometimes i wish i'm prettier and all. And then i remember what my mum says. 人长得美或不美不重要，心美最重要。
Hehehe. Now i feel better. I just need a place to pour all my emotions and i'll be fine. Hahah. School is starting soon. I hope things like this don't happen again. Angela, please. Stop falling into shits like this. Be smarter. People can't tell you how to feel. You need to learn.
I mean, i can't blame the guys after all. Is not their fault that i'm hurt. Its me. If i'm smarter and knows how to protect myself, these kind of things probably won't happen. So, yeah. Grow up girl! ^^
Thursday, 7 March 2013
We move on.
Everything had been much alright recently ^^ I'm just really excited for school cause its starting in a month time! Can't wait to get settled!
Hmm.. To be honest, i've been telling myself to not get too excited for Wednesday but i can't. This is sick. I'm trying so hard but things just won't go my way. Actually all i want is just a break from everything. I might not have time to go overseas but i just want a day from everything that is stressing up my pea brain including work. I wanna play and eat and play and eat. For just that one day before everything get serious.
I went back Woodlands Ring Sec today. Wanted to collect my SGC but the office lady said its not ready for collection yet so i ended up collecting my N level cert. I miss school so badly. Hahaha. But when its time to move on, we move on. Cause at the end of the day, the sun still rises and life still goes on. Things are going to get serious pretty soon. Hand in there Lalalim! ^^ JIAYOUS!!
Okay fine. Imma head to bed. Goodnight peeps ^^
Hmm.. To be honest, i've been telling myself to not get too excited for Wednesday but i can't. This is sick. I'm trying so hard but things just won't go my way. Actually all i want is just a break from everything. I might not have time to go overseas but i just want a day from everything that is stressing up my pea brain including work. I wanna play and eat and play and eat. For just that one day before everything get serious.
I went back Woodlands Ring Sec today. Wanted to collect my SGC but the office lady said its not ready for collection yet so i ended up collecting my N level cert. I miss school so badly. Hahaha. But when its time to move on, we move on. Cause at the end of the day, the sun still rises and life still goes on. Things are going to get serious pretty soon. Hand in there Lalalim! ^^ JIAYOUS!!
Okay fine. Imma head to bed. Goodnight peeps ^^
Saturday, 2 March 2013
Mum
A lot happened this week and i'm really tired. Haha. For the first time in my life i really felt my mum. Her as a daughter, as a sister and as a mother of 3.
Few days back my grandpa was admitted into the hospital. He's 83 this year and thats probably the reason why i'm really worried. I'm so glad he's better now. But i've been going to the hospital almost everyday this week. Seeing the patients there alone without any visitors i really felt so........ I ought to feel blessed and thankful. Seeing all these scenes make me question myself. Why am i never satisfied with my life and always asking for more? Having a happy family with everybody being safe and sound is the most important thing isn't it?
I've been with my mum this whole week. Seeing how tired she is waking up so early every morning to visit my grandpa and rushing back in the afternoon for work makes me determine to change into a stronger person like her instead of being that princess getting protected all the time. Nobody really wants to grow up. But sometimes we don't have a choice. The environment forces us to grow. I have no idea what am i going to do so that i will see myself change. But i guess the first step is to take initiative and i hope things do get better and mum will feel less tired.
Alright, bye!
Few days back my grandpa was admitted into the hospital. He's 83 this year and thats probably the reason why i'm really worried. I'm so glad he's better now. But i've been going to the hospital almost everyday this week. Seeing the patients there alone without any visitors i really felt so........ I ought to feel blessed and thankful. Seeing all these scenes make me question myself. Why am i never satisfied with my life and always asking for more? Having a happy family with everybody being safe and sound is the most important thing isn't it?
I've been with my mum this whole week. Seeing how tired she is waking up so early every morning to visit my grandpa and rushing back in the afternoon for work makes me determine to change into a stronger person like her instead of being that princess getting protected all the time. Nobody really wants to grow up. But sometimes we don't have a choice. The environment forces us to grow. I have no idea what am i going to do so that i will see myself change. But i guess the first step is to take initiative and i hope things do get better and mum will feel less tired.
Alright, bye!
Saturday, 23 February 2013
Tired.
Its been long since i felt this level of tiredness. Physically i mean. But i'm still gonna blog first. Cause first, its been kind of long since i last posted and second, i'm feeling a little messed up.
Honestly blogging about my problems may seems like i'm a problematic person. But every time after i blog, i feel clearer about the things that i want to do. I think thats the most important isn't it? So for those who actually read my blog, bear with me. I'm not those type of blogger that post nice pictures and talks about daily life all the time. This is just a place for me to let out all my emotions.
Okay. Here i go.
So, its been long since i go back to work. Not really long. About 3 weeks. And 3 days ago was considered my first day. Keeping the reason why i actually chose to quit in the first place in mind, i told myself there is a need for change. If i wanna avoid problems, i have to start learning how to keep low-profile. I did. I stopped talking about anything that is outside of work. And yeah, i felt good. Cause i know i did the right thing.
Few days back i went out with my best friend from secondary school. We had a good talk for a few hours and i went for work. I realise that i actually felt so different when i'm with the 2 different groups of people. When i'm with my friend, i felt like myself. Its like i can be myself and i know i will be fine. But when i'm at work, i can't be myself. I feel like i'm so fake. Because of our age difference, i wanted acceptance from the people at work. Therefore i try so hard to blend in. To a point whereby i'm afraid that i might just lose myself and get carried away. I'm so afraid that i might change into the person i was in the past. I can't afford to walk back that old path again. I want to feel like myself. Like how i feel when i'm with my friend, having all my morals in me and seeing who i really am. I know, keeping low-profile is good. Its the first step to walking away from all those thoughts about changing negatively.
My brain is still too busy thinking. But my eyes are so dry its killing me. So, goodnight.
Honestly blogging about my problems may seems like i'm a problematic person. But every time after i blog, i feel clearer about the things that i want to do. I think thats the most important isn't it? So for those who actually read my blog, bear with me. I'm not those type of blogger that post nice pictures and talks about daily life all the time. This is just a place for me to let out all my emotions.
Okay. Here i go.
So, its been long since i go back to work. Not really long. About 3 weeks. And 3 days ago was considered my first day. Keeping the reason why i actually chose to quit in the first place in mind, i told myself there is a need for change. If i wanna avoid problems, i have to start learning how to keep low-profile. I did. I stopped talking about anything that is outside of work. And yeah, i felt good. Cause i know i did the right thing.
Few days back i went out with my best friend from secondary school. We had a good talk for a few hours and i went for work. I realise that i actually felt so different when i'm with the 2 different groups of people. When i'm with my friend, i felt like myself. Its like i can be myself and i know i will be fine. But when i'm at work, i can't be myself. I feel like i'm so fake. Because of our age difference, i wanted acceptance from the people at work. Therefore i try so hard to blend in. To a point whereby i'm afraid that i might just lose myself and get carried away. I'm so afraid that i might change into the person i was in the past. I can't afford to walk back that old path again. I want to feel like myself. Like how i feel when i'm with my friend, having all my morals in me and seeing who i really am. I know, keeping low-profile is good. Its the first step to walking away from all those thoughts about changing negatively.
My brain is still too busy thinking. But my eyes are so dry its killing me. So, goodnight.
Monday, 18 February 2013
Blood Donation
Honestly i've never wanted to do anything so badly. Yeah, i wanna donate blood. HAHAHA. Quite a lot happened today and i realise i'm really kinda stupid. Its funny when people call me dumb or silly or stupid in the past i take it as a joke and think that they are joking. But today, I myself can't tank already. Even my mum. HAHAHA. I got to admit that i'm dumb.
So since i'm not outstanding in anyway and can't do much for the society, the only thing i can do for now is probably to donate what i can. I don't have much money. But i'm healthy so i can donate my blood! ^^ I plucked up my courage and walk into the bloodbank at civic centre today. The nurse asked 'First time?' I was like, yeah. First time. So she told me to follow her cause she wanna check my blood. Halfway through, she said 'Wait, what's your weight?' I was like ohhh man.. She brought me to check my weight. I was sooooooooooo close! The requirement was 45 kg. And i was 0.4kg away. HOMYGOD. WHY OH WHY. I was damn sad. But its okay. Next month imma go back there. HEHEHE. Excited x197314657816347561
Going for a morning jog with mum tomorrow. Gotta head to bed early. Bye! ^^
So since i'm not outstanding in anyway and can't do much for the society, the only thing i can do for now is probably to donate what i can. I don't have much money. But i'm healthy so i can donate my blood! ^^ I plucked up my courage and walk into the bloodbank at civic centre today. The nurse asked 'First time?' I was like, yeah. First time. So she told me to follow her cause she wanna check my blood. Halfway through, she said 'Wait, what's your weight?' I was like ohhh man.. She brought me to check my weight. I was sooooooooooo close! The requirement was 45 kg. And i was 0.4kg away. HOMYGOD. WHY OH WHY. I was damn sad. But its okay. Next month imma go back there. HEHEHE. Excited x197314657816347561
Going for a morning jog with mum tomorrow. Gotta head to bed early. Bye! ^^
Sunday, 17 February 2013
RWS
Home is still the best! Spent a night at RWS yesterday! Its not exactly very fun. But together with the aunties and uncles, it feels like Taiwan again. Hahah. Didn't really sleep well cause the room was so freaking cold i almost died. Woke up at 6 cause my bro forgot to off his freaking alarm. Damn epic. HAHA!
Went Marine Life Park! OMG. THE FISHES THERE ARE SO.... CUTE!!!!!! AND I TOUCHED THE STARFISH!!!!!!! BAHAHAH!!! IT FEELS LIKE SANDPAPER. Its damn cute. And i think the starfishes are scared. I mean, if its me i will also be scared right? Lucky starfishes can't talk. Or they'll be like 'Walan eh fuck off ley!' HAHAHAH!! I mean, so many people crowded around to touch. Its okay. I was telling the starfishes not to be scared. IN MY HEART I MEAN. HAHAHA. Err... I think i'm weird. HAHAHA.
Heading to RP tomorrow to get enrolled. Hahah. Really excited for school to start. I need to get myself occupied so bad. And i've gotten my ass back to GI alr. Oh yeah, there's this smth i wanna confess. I did closing with Zixian and Raymond that day. Actually, Raymond is really not that bad. I mean, he has been trying to make job so much easier for us. After closing that day, i find myself really childish to judge him by the little things that he do and what people say. I might not have enough courage to apologise in his face for all the bad things that i've said about him last time. And i don't think there's really a need too. I just feel real bad and now i'm gonna stop being judgemental and kick that bad habit honestly.
But sometimes when i think again, i don't think the way i judge people is wrong. I judge you by the things that you do. Maybe not the first time. But if you're gonna make the same mistake for the second or third time, then i guess.... First you obviously haven't learn you mistake and second you probably wants to be judged. Lol. Yeah i judged myself when i make the same mistake for more than once too. LOL.
Okay, bye peeps! ^^
Went Marine Life Park! OMG. THE FISHES THERE ARE SO.... CUTE!!!!!! AND I TOUCHED THE STARFISH!!!!!!! BAHAHAH!!! IT FEELS LIKE SANDPAPER. Its damn cute. And i think the starfishes are scared. I mean, if its me i will also be scared right? Lucky starfishes can't talk. Or they'll be like 'Walan eh fuck off ley!' HAHAHAH!! I mean, so many people crowded around to touch. Its okay. I was telling the starfishes not to be scared. IN MY HEART I MEAN. HAHAHA. Err... I think i'm weird. HAHAHA.
Heading to RP tomorrow to get enrolled. Hahah. Really excited for school to start. I need to get myself occupied so bad. And i've gotten my ass back to GI alr. Oh yeah, there's this smth i wanna confess. I did closing with Zixian and Raymond that day. Actually, Raymond is really not that bad. I mean, he has been trying to make job so much easier for us. After closing that day, i find myself really childish to judge him by the little things that he do and what people say. I might not have enough courage to apologise in his face for all the bad things that i've said about him last time. And i don't think there's really a need too. I just feel real bad and now i'm gonna stop being judgemental and kick that bad habit honestly.
But sometimes when i think again, i don't think the way i judge people is wrong. I judge you by the things that you do. Maybe not the first time. But if you're gonna make the same mistake for the second or third time, then i guess.... First you obviously haven't learn you mistake and second you probably wants to be judged. Lol. Yeah i judged myself when i make the same mistake for more than once too. LOL.
Okay, bye peeps! ^^
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