Snowball!

Spend my Sunday visiting Snowball at Sunray cafe! That girl is still the same! ^^

Hahaha. Their owner was outside making a call.

FOOOOOD!

Human's best company. 

Levitation

First official attempt shooting levitation. Thanks to my sis for being my model. HAHA. Check that out. Critics are welcome! ^^

Friday

Its Friday again! I'm feeling as exhausted as any other Fridays. Haha. Well, nothing major happened. Just that i've decided to perform with the crew on the 16th since my knee has healed. Its kind of tough for me cause i haven't been dancing and i'm feeling really awkward this time round. But anyways...

I have always been struggling with English. And i realise that i'm not doing very well for that module in school. To be honest i have no idea what should i do, but i know i can't give up. Maybe i should find myself a tutor. Most likely i will. I can't let myself fail. I'm feeling stressed up. I have a lot of things to do but i do not have enough time. Lets not link that to work. Cause the reason why i have a lot of things to do is because i couldn't catch up in school and i have to study on my own. I'm missing secondary school so much.

I use to hear a lot from the seniors that Poly lecturers will not give you the attention like how secondary school teacher does. It didn't really affect me at that point of time and i kind of didn't want the secondary school teachers to put so much attention on me. But right now, i realise without the attention of teachers everything became so much tougher. You have to be a lot more independent. The facils in poly are not going to pause their lessons just because you can't get it. You have either email them or ask your friends. I was so stressed during Math today i almost cried because i couldn't get it. I'm so pissed with Math, with my faci and maybe with myself. This is so tiring.

I know i've been complaining a lot. But i guess i have to or i'll go crazy one day. Okay whatever, im gonna go start on my project. At this timing, yes. Damn. Goodnight!

Childhood

Childhood 

Punggol Waterway

Pretty tired now. But my photos are still uploading. I started uploading this morning. Can you imagine? It is 10:30pm now. I only had like 103 photos. Is that a lot? Hahaha. Whatever. Shall not complain anymore.

Oh yeah, i went Punggol Waterway today. It feels kind of different. Many of the times when you are alone, you tend to notice more of the surroundings and you see more. Thats what happened. Hahah. The haze wasn't as bad but its still there. And photos suck a little cause the haze made it look as if my lens is dirty. But here's one that i kind of like.

I mean, thats edited. HAHA. But i think its nice and i really like it! ^^ The time now is like 11:18pm but i still have 11 more photos to go. What am i suppose to do now omg. Okay, whatever. Imma head to bed already. Goodnight guys! ^^ 

Exhausted.

Glitz just ended. Oh well. My photos were crap and i felt a little guilty and bad and negative. But it was an awesome experience. 

The haze today was better but i'm having a flu and headache now. Like right now. Hahah. Just gonna post a short one cause it is somehow the end of the week. Well, this week had been crazy. I don't know why i'm still alive but surprisingly i am. 

I had Glitz meeting on Monday, Work on Tuesday, PM test on Wednesday, Photo IG meeting yesterday and the event itself today. Everything was happening so fast i feel that i can't catch up. But somehow i like my life to be like that. You get so busy for the whole entire week and when Friday comes, you will be so thankful for it. Just like how i'm feeling right now. Although i'm literally typing all these words with half open eyes, i can feel the joy in me. HAHAH!

Its Yi Hui's 21st tomorrow! I'm kinda excited cause i've never been to a 21st Birthday party. Not only that, i get to get out of Woodlands for awhile cause he stays at Tamp. HAHAH. YAY. Alright, imma head to bed cause my eyelids are getting heavier. 

Oh yes, i should really go out to the streets to take photos. Cause that is where the most natural shot comes from. Something for me to do again. In love with this life of mine omg. HAHA GOODNIGHT GUYS.

What should i do now

Feeling kinda messed up today. Maybe its because i'm really tired. Oh, that reminds me of the dream last night. HAHAHA Which is so ridiculous, but i like cause i feel loved. In dream yes. HAHA. Okay back to topic. Yup, i'm messed up. Cause of work and test and everything.

Work today was terrible. I am terrible. I don't know why but i couldn't concentrate today. Is like a body over mind kind of thing. I made 2 cups of wrong tea and i have to pour them away. And i got scolding cause i kept forgetting the measurement. There's so much more but i can't remember cause currently my mind is blank. Like literally. I just feel like crying at work. I'm not trying to gain anybody's sympathy here. I just felt grievance cause i'm already quite stressed up about the upcoming test later and i kept on doing the wrong things and i accidentally cut my arm and is like everything is coming at one go. Is just a tiny cut but at that point of time i just wanted to blow up.

Parents came to fetch me after work. I know right. HAHAHA. I can even walk home but they came to pick me up. When i saw them, the first thing i wanted to do was to hug them and feel their presence. I don't know if anybody ever felt that way before. Is like you almost died somewhere and then you realise you are still alive when you saw your family. I guess thats pretty much how i felt. We went for dinner.. Okay supper... Okay dinner for me and supper for them and i told them about everything that happened at work. Like how i wasted two cups of tea and how i caused the queue to get longer because of my slowness and blurness. I didn't realise i was actually holding it back until when i told my mum what happened, i started tearing up. I know all these might be nothing to people out there. But i'm just tired and i don't get why i have to do this anymore. I need money yes. Cause i'm using adult fare now and my mum didn't increase my allowance. But i can walk. Right? I can save the money for other things. Omg.

Okay omg. I don't know how to continue this post anymore cause my brain is officially dead. Oh but my supervisor is so nice he texted me and ask me how was work and if the colleagues are too much when they teach me. See. These are the reasons why i can't bring myself to quit. Whatever. Goodnight peeps. I'm officially... Okay. Whatever. Goodnight.

Photoshoot makes me happy!

Was so frustrated last night cause i'm super tired after having not enough sleep for two days plus being overwhelmed by negative thoughts. But i didn't drink! Once bitten twice shy. Hahaha. But i feel so good today cause i kind of sorted out my thoughts. 

I realise recently that taking photos makes me happy! Went Botanic Garden today for photoshoot. Oh, by photoshoot i mean i take photo of the subject not that i'm the subject. Hahah! The weather was ridiculous. Extremely hot. But i still manage to take some photos that i'm really satisfied with. Like this one! 

The only real elegance is in the mind.

Maybe not everyone will agree that this is a nice photo cause different people have different ideas of how a photo should be taken. Feel free to give critics people! After all its the critics and comments that improves us and bring us further. 

Last day of holiday tomorrow and i'm gonna spend time doing last minute check for my homework. And i just remembered i have work tomorrow. Why that weird timing though. Like 4-8. Its Fathers' day. Anyways, shall post again soon. Right now, i'm gonna go get something to eat. HAHA. Bye peeps! ^^

City lights

In love with this shot. 

I'm ready!

Last night was hell. Drank a little too much and.. I don't even want to talk about it. What has alcohol done to us... Ohmygod.

School is starting. I can't wait to get enough of all these bullshit. There are so many events coming up. I guess thats a good thing cause it keeps me busy and prevents me from thinking. Having meeting on the first day of school for the Glitz photographer coverage on Friday. Not forgetting my field trip, tests, deadlines and work. After this 3 weeks holiday, I'M READY FOR THE NEXT BATTLE! BRING IT ON! Hahahaha! ^^

I don't know why but i suddenly have this urge to blog about my BFF. Cause i know she likes to stalk blogs and judge people. Hahaha!
Jess, you are the bitchest girl i have ever met. I'm not even kidding. But thats why i love you. I'm not kidding too. Hahah. Your YOLO and straightforward character is what i admire and i guess i'm slowly picking that up. And as i start to live like that, i start to have this love-hate relationship with myself. Is that even normal? Whatever. I hope you had fun the past few days in my cave and we shall never drink again. Like never. HAHA. I love you bitch. Don't let anybody take away your happiness. You know what i mean. See you on Monday and meanwhile, Survive. Hahahah.

Gonna go workout before i really turn into a fatass. Bye peeps.

Starring role.

You're hard to hug, tough to talk to-and I never fall asleep, when you're in my bedall you give me is a heartbeatI've turned into a statueand it makes me feel depressed'cause the only time you open up is when we get undressed.You don't love me, big fucking dealI'll never tell you how I feelYou don't love me, not a big deal,I'll never tell you how I feel.
It almost feels like a joke to play out the part,when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart.You know I'd rather work alone, than play a supporting roleif I can't get the starring role.Sometimes I ignore you, so I feel in control'cause really, I adore you and I can't leave you alone.Fed up with the fantasies, they cover what is wrong.Come on, baby, let's just get drunk, forget we don't get onYou like my dad, you get on well,I send my best regards from hell.
It almost feels like a joke to play out the part,when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart.You know I'd rather work alone, than play a supporting roleif I can't get the starring role.I never sent for love, I never had a heart to mend.Because before the start began, I always saw the endYeah, I wait for you to open up, to give yourself to me.But nothing's ever gonna give, I'll never set you free.Yeah I'll never set you free
It almost feels like a joke to play out the part,when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart.You know I'd rather work alone, than play a supporting roleif I can't get the starring role....The starring role.

Ugly, ugly, ugly

Again feeling messed up today. I feel like crying so bad. I think after that fall at Ecp that day, i became a totally different person. I look so ugly now because of the uneven sunburn on my face and it hurts so bad, i'm really getting fatter (look like i'm pregnant) because of the antibiotics that i'm taking for my wounds (my mum said) and also the wound on my knee is almost drying up and because of that, i have difficulty bending my knees. I'm already very ugly. But the sunburn and the side effects of the medicine is making me  so much uglier and i wanna dig a hole and hide inside. I'm serious about it.

I don't know what to do now to get my flat tummy back. And also my pimples face without the sunburn. Omg i need to rant cause i've never seen myself like this. Not even once. Okay, i'm so shag now. I have no mood to continue this shit anymore. I need to go and sleep and hope that maybe i'll look better tomorrow. Goodnight guys.

Thankful

Feeling kinda terrible today. The wound on my knee is hurting. And the wound on my toes are causing my toes to hurt as well. And the sunburn on my face is hurting so bad too. Basically, i'm feeling terrible. Not forgetting I couldn't wear jeans to work so i had to wear shorts. But today, i made bubble tea for the first time at work! Omg. It was so exciting.

There's this guy at work that i'm super thankful for. Okay, the only guy in the shop. He always make my job so much easier by helping me out. Whereas others will just nag at me when things didn't go right. I know they are not at fault cause the lady boss said that if i still don't know by the end of the day, those that taught me will get scolding. That stress me up a lot cause the way they teach is very different too. And there's way too much to remember. Oh yeah, so this guy. I think he knows that i'm stress or what, he will constantly encourage me by telling me that everything is fine and all the new staffs are like that, i just need time and once i get the hang of it, everything will become better. This mean so much to me when i'm stressing about being too slow and being too cluttered. Over all, people are nice, boss is nice, everything is nice, i'm too slow and thats not very nice.

Yeah, very standard 1. Every blog post confirm will talk about this guy. HAHAHAH! But i'm pretty tired today and i have to get up super early tomorrow cause i have to go to the hospital. So, goodnight guys. I'll post again if i have time. Meanwhile, survive.

Unfortunate

Didn't catch sunrise this morning. Yes, i'm damn damn sad. I was looking forward to it. But... Damn. Hahaha. Cause i fell. So i had to go home. How did i fall? HAHAH. This is like, Angela's stupidity.

This was what happened. We cycled from Area C in ecp to Changi ferry terminal. By the time we reached Changi, it was about time to head back cause we had to return our bikes. We were at H when it started drizzling and we had to get to area C asap cause we are only left with 45 minutes. So we didn't have a choice but to cycling under the rain. YOLO BITCHES HAHAHA! This was when shit happened. I was suppose to cycle down the slope and of course i didn't paddle. But i forgot to tell myself that i have to use the brake. HAHAHA! WHATTHEHELL RIGHT. Down hill on a narrow path under the rain and i didn't use brake. So i slipped and fell.

First thing that came to my mind when i was on the ground was 'WOW. THIS IS LIKE THE FIRST FUCKING TIME I FELL WHEN CYCLING. HOMUAHOD. VIRGIN FALL.' HAHAHAH! And when i was daydreaming about how awesome it is to fall for the first time, three guys from across the road was asking me if i was okay and i was like, Am i okay? HAHA! The whole freaking incident was like a joke to me honestly. That was when i realise i was still on the ground under the rain. My friend came over to carry my backpack for me and bring me to the shelter and another helped me with the antiseptic. Just when we thought we had to spam plasters to cover my wound, there was this bunch of cyclists whom we share shelter with helped me with the bandage. I am soooo thankful to them and of course my friends.

Since i fell, i can't cycle back to area C. So i pushed my bike and walk all the way from area H to area C. Took us 2 hours. And 2 of my friends accompanied me by walking together with me. I felt like a burden. Hahah. But it also made me realise who was really there for me and who left. Thanks Jess, Thanks Jay. I'm so thankful to have you guys in my life.

When i reach home, mom couldn't change the dressing for me cause the gauze was sticking to my wound. And it was half soaked with blood. So she took me to the clinic. Hahaha. It hurts so bad when he clean my wound. It felt damn raw. Is like as if he's touching my flesh. Oh wait, he is what. HAHA. And guess what? I got an injection. WOOHOO. Is like i love injection so much every time i go to that particular clinic i confirm get injection. Great experience. So gonna remember yesterday. Virgin fall ^^ But that sense of achievement i got when i knew that i cycled for 10km was like... (Y)

Unfortunately, i missed my dinner with the ah boys, missed seeing them in smart 4, missed my sunrise, missed my 0.001% chance to seeing him at ecp. And i fell. Tada. Hahaha.

Okay, its 10:42 now. Shall sleep already. Goodnight peeps.
I miss you.

Sunrise!

Its gonna be Friday tomorrow and all Renjie's friends will be booking out. Super glad. At least there will be people to talk to him. What's whatsapp compared to face to face? I know 5 years is really long. Take all the time you need to heal. I understand that its easy for us to say but ultimately its still you. We all know you can do it.

Jay Chou concert tonight. So excited cause its the first concert of my life! Hahaha. And then there's class outing tomorrow! ^^ So excited cause i planned it with BFF! Hehehe.

I'm gonna stay out for the night for the first time! Hehehe. So here's the plan. Everyone is going to meet up at Tamp at 12 and we are going to have lunch at Ikea (Chicken wingsss!) Then we're going to head to ECP to cycle! Heheh. Cycle for a few hours and then we'll cycle to Changi for dinner! After that we'll probably head back to ECP and stay there for the night! Not many people are going to stay. But well, i really want to cause i wanna catch sunrise. HAHA. Catch sunrise alone very romantic right? TEEHEE!

Of course, there's a reason for everything. So there's a reason for ECP too. HAHAHA. I wanted to actually... Like... Ask him out at night or smth but.. He said he usually spend his time with his family on Fridays. So i didn't ask. Meaning i'm not going to see him but well, it's already planned. I'm still excited la. Just not as excited. Okay whatever.

I know many of my post are contradicting each other cause some i said i understand and i'll get over it but i still post about how excited i am when i receive his text or wanting to meet him all. Well, i'm just a super ultra normal girl having feelings for this guy here. So, let me be okay. Hehehe.

See you soon i hope.
Bye bitches.

Heart over mind

First day of work at Sharetea today. It was so tough. The POS system almost drive me crazy. 4 freaking pages of menu for me to memorise. I foresee myself dying but my mum say i will survive. HAHAH.

Received his sms again today. TEEHEE *Insert crazyhypersuperhappy face* But I lied that i was going to rest and ended the conversation because i didn't know how to continue. I was really kinda pissed w myself cause i really wanted to talk to him. But i feel like i'm trying too hard whenever i do because i'm always thinking of what to say and how to reply and what should i ask so that i can keep the conversation going. And that makes me feel so desperate and stupid. I really hate it when i doubt myself. I feel like a clown. I'm not desperate. I just like someone and is hoping that the guy that i like will maybe just feel a little something for me. But it never happens and i understand. This may sound stupid but, i wouldn't choose me either.

What am i suppose to say or do so that i can see this picture clearer? Somebody said this to me 'Is either you go all out this time or you stop wasting your time thinking about him.' And another 'YOLO bitch. Just do it. Who knows whats gonna happen the next second? Live your life to the fullest and do things that makes you happy. Seize the chance and make it happen.' Hais. And in my mind: Yeah man. YOLO. Go all out, seize the chance, make it happen.' My heart: Please think twice. Is the relationship more important or what you want? What if he..., what if we.... What if, what if, what if.
Dammit. I'm going mad. Hahaha. Thinking so much but i know at the end of the day my heart always wins. I've never done anything that my mind decides in my life before. So, suck it and continue watching from this cave of yours Angela Lim.

Hahah! Whatever. I just reread my post and i find it so funny. Heart over mind. Hahhaha. Alright, working tomorrow. Bye guys ^^