As usual.

Had been a pretty long day today. It was kind of.. Bad i guess. With this cramp going on plus the muscle-ache from PE yesterday and the bad night sleep because of that irritating car's alarm from right below my house.

Been thinking a lot, as usual. And i kind of see things a little clearer now. Who cares, who doesn't. And who pretended. But i guess all these don't quite matter anymore. It use to mean a lot to me. Because i thought if i were to keep treating people like how i want to be treated, people will do the same. But i was wrong. It doesn't work that way. People don't treat you nicely and sincerely just because you do. If i were to keep going back to people who don't give a shit and stick through them, at the end of the day i'll be the one getting hurt. Over and over. And after all these shit that i've put myself through, i think i'm pretty much done. I don't have much time and there's only so much that i can do. I got to move on with my life. I have goals, family and friends who really care even though they don't say it. And i know they do because no matter what happens, they are always there. And maybe this is what you do when you truly care. You show them that you will always be there. Its never going to be about words anymore. If you really think that i am important to you, show me that i am.

I'm so tired now i can't even move my arms. Can you imagine how im typing now? Hahah! Gotta go shower and take a nap before starting on my assignments. Feeling like a dog now. Anyways, bye! ^^ Cramps urgh..

Life changes

Finally booked my tickets for Bali Island. Like finally! I can't wait to get out of this little red dot even if its just for that 4 days. Hehehe! 

Spent the whole entire day with my family today and my mum kind of talked me into making certain changes in my life. She's right. At some point of our life, we have to make certain decisions for the sake of people we cared about. And i've decided to learn beauty from her plus taking up courses from her company and help her in her shop. This is probably one of the biggest change in my life until today. I'm never really into those stuff and i never really cared. Hahaha. But yeah, its time for a change and maybe then i can quit GI for real. 

Its time for bed now and my training starts tomorrow. So, goodnight! 

I don't like the nights

Its been long. Hehehe. But life's pretty good recently! Just that i've gotten myself pretty sick yesterday and today. HAHA. Rusty pipe throat and running tap nose i'll like to call it. HAHAHA!

Went to the airport with parents just now for a walk. I like that place. Although (as much as i'd like to) i can't get out of this little red dot anytime soon, i like to imagine myself taking the flight and just leaving this place for a while. I'm so tired. Even though i'm having holidays now, i feel even more tired than i am when i have school. Because i'm on holidays and there's nothing for me to do, i spend too much time thinking about stuff. Trust me its super tiring to keep thinking and thinking. Especially at night. Those thoughts keep me awake. Even when i'm really tired, i can't sleep. It is really so bad i can't describe it. I use to love the nights. But i just don't anymore. Well.. Should have learnt right? Not to ever rely. 

Going out with parents tomorrow and i should really head to bed now. Goodnight guys ;)

Please don't give me the attention and then the next moment leave me in the middle of nowhere. You are really super important to me. Please don't do this to me. Because its you, it breaks my heart so much more than anybody else. 

Sealand without sea

Was so sad because i thought the family chalet was going to be at Pasir Ris beach but it ended up at Changi treehouse. Meaning there was no sea although that place was called Sealand Road or something like that. But it wasn't that bad. Cause almost everyone turned up. And that makes up more than 60 people. Imagine that guys. HAHAHA.

Family gathering. As usual, questions were asked. Hahaha! I think the next family gathering i should really wear a board that explains everything about myself including what PFP is. HAHAH! But i like how we get to catch up with each other once in a while like that. It is really heartwarming ^^

Finally set a date to go out with my beloved cousin. It has been damn long since we last go out to shop together. Have got so much to tell her i think she'll be surprised by all the changes in mua life. Hahah! Alright, shall really head to bed already since there's meeting tomorrow. Goodnight all! ^^

Monday blues at da beach

Its Mondayyyy! Can't wait for tonight because i'm going to Pasir Ris park for aunty's chalet. Not that i'm really close with that aunty or what. But its beachhhhh! Heheheh! Meaning i can heart to heart with that cousin that i haven't seen for long enough and i can shoot! Eggcited girl! Dad took off tomorrow so we can go out out together but sadly i've got to return to school for meeting before my family outing.

I requested Raymond to transfer me to Jcube instead of working in Bugis. Hahaha. Bugis had been like my home but i guess its time to finally make a decision for myself. Jcube is so much nearer to my house and the closing time even for weekends is 2300. Its really more convenient.

Ogayyy i'm going for breakfast now! Nope, lunch! Hahaha! Bye bye all!

Look at us, look at me.

I just saw something that made me so sick that i really feel like vomiting now. It's not that bad. But i just can't help it. This world is so small i think i.. Omg. I don't know. I just want to be hidden among the crowd omg. 

Yeah. I guess thats the difference between others and me. I don't like to be the attention. I don't want to be. I don't want people to know me. I just want to be there for them and thats it. I have been doing what i like and its good this way. To be there for them and after they got better, they will leave. And another will come. It has always been like this and i'm cool with that. Maybe it hurts. But i know after some time everything will get better and i will get better. Of course, during the process, i learn too. And now, honestly i think its time for me to just get over it already. Maybe part of me is still not over you. Its obvious. But i know its kind of impossible for us too. Look at the people around you and look at me. Which part of me fits in? They are pretty and famous all. And i'm just me being here, blogging and munching on my chips at this timing. Hahaha! Even i laugh at myself. So.. I guess i finally see it now. But honestly i'm really thankful for all the memories you have given me. It has been and is the best part of my life.  

Its raining. And i love this weather, especially at this timing. Hehehe. I've spent my whole entire day today doing nothing. Like really nothing. I literally lazed around the entire day. And its gonna be the same for tomorrow. Okay today since its already 12. But i'm gonna bake on Sunday with mum! Hehehe. Lets have some #foodporn post on Insta on Sun! Alright, imma go hunt for some movies now. 

Take care and good bye. 

Why is it all about you.

Its Teachers' day tomorrow and i'm all ready! I miss my classmates so much. Hehehe. I've got no time to bake for Mdm Aishah but i guess i'll just give her those carnations my godma made. And i can't wait for Sunday because i'm gonna stay home to bake! Hehehe! 

I know I’m pretty crazy some times because I assume that people whom I talk about in this blog actually read my blog. But whether they do or not, I still feel 10 times better after blogging. So here I go.

I don’t want to think too much. But at the same time I wish that I’m just thinking too much because I felt that you are distancing yourself from me. To be honest I’m pretty sad because you are the one who told me that you don’t want us to lose what we have. Yet you are the one distancing yourself. I really want to talk to you. But I can’t. Because I know I’m annoying. And I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you or whatsoever. Part of me regretted asking. But I know I made the right choice because I need to know. What I didn’t expect was that I actually landed myself in my own grave because your words and actions killed me. I know all these are my fault because I made that choice. And I’m sorry because I showed my feelings. But if you really don’t want to lose what we have, will you do something about it? Because I don’t know what to do anymore. If you’re worried because you didn’t feel the way you thought you did, it’s really okay. I’m not gonna take what you said previously to heart. Okay? But if it doesn't really matter to you, then its okay! Really really. *smiling emoji* hehehe. Just be happy and yeah. 

Okay, imma go prepare my stuff for tomorrow already. Bye guys!