Smile

Just swallowed my pill and i can literally fill it in my throat now omg. Its so freaking uncomfortable.  I feel like i'm gonna puke or smth. Okay whatever.

I can't believe i completed my English presentation today. Like, REALLY!? Hahah! I completed the 2 major tasks for this week! HOLY HOLY HOLY! There's another presentation on Wednesday and hopefully i will be able to do well. Cause after all i'm going to talk about the stuff that i came up with. And this presentation reminded me of that time when i actually told my Faci to smile cause he look damn scary when he don't and i can't present properly. I've got guts man HAHA

Sigh. Feeling so weird right now. I have no idea why. I don't have the mood for anything. I've been staring at this page for like 5 minutes already and i have no idea what to say. But i kind of enjoy this kind of feeling. Maybe a part of me is thinking or maybe it has already shut down cause its time for bed. It doesn't matter anyways. I just like this feeling. Hahaha. If you guys are reading this post, i think you do realise that this paragraph is redundant right? HAHA! Mindfucked guys.

I guess i shall head for bed already. Class start later than usual tomorrow but i'm tired. Goodnight all! ^^

Let it go.

I said i might not be posting this week because i'm kinda busy but well, i realise blogging helps me reflect and calm down. Hahaha. Its the best time of the day right now. Sitting on my bed, reflecting on my day with soft music and table lamp on. 

Had Math test today. It wasn't as tough as i expected it to be. Our facis lied to us by telling us that all the topics would be covered but ended up only topics that were taught after holidays were tested. Shall see if i'm able to score for this paper. 

As i grow up, i'm beginning to realise that sometimes, the more you want something, the more you wouldn't get it and on the other hand, if you were to just let it go, you will understand that what's meant to be yours will still come back to you. It might not have happened to me. But as i'm looking at it from a third person point of view, i see a lot more. Sometimes we get too tired with the things that are happening around and thats because we are too involved. Try taking a step back and see things in a different perspective. You will see things a lot clearer. 

Tomorrow's lessons are redundant except for English. And then there's SEL presentation tomorrow. Holyyyyyyyyyy. I just reminded myself now that there's SEL presentation tomorrow and i'm soooo not prepared for it. I'm so nervous! I didn't do well for my graded assignment. I have to do well for this. I NEED TO OMG. Damnnnn! Okay, i think i need to go and run through my slides now. Bye peeps! 

Tedious week ahead.

Having a bad headache right now and knowing that its only Tuesday tomorrow isn't helping at all. This week is gonna be so tedious and i haven't been this busy for a very long time. So people who says that Poly is slack, i suggest you think twice.

Math test tomorrow and i'm so not prepared. Its 11:57 now and no, i cannot study now cause nothing is going into my head. Guess i'm just gonna go to bed and study tomorrow instead.

I suppose the next time i'm gonna be blogging again is on Friday after my outing with my friend. So lets just pray that i can survive this week and that everything is gonna be peaceful all. Heheh. Goodnight guys! SURVIVE! ^^

Minions

HARROW! Just to post a $%^*@ cute video! Watch it!!!!!!!

.Stop.

We ignore those who care and chase after those who don’t give a damn. Why? Maybe because we like the thrill and want to train our stamina or something. Hahah. Wtf man.

Once again, I’ve landed myself back into this shit hole that I’ve been trying to get out all the time. This time its different. Whether my assumptions are right or wrong, i think its really time for me to move on and get over it. Or maybe, just avoid it. Sometimes when we try too hard for too long, we get tired and at some point in time, we just want to give up. And thats what im gonna do now. Stop hoping, stop trying and focus on the stuff and people who cares and makes me happy. 

Its youth day tomorrow but i have to attend school. WHY OH WHY. I'm still a youth. Okay whatever. Hahah. Math test on Tuesday. Not confident this time cause its on circles. Circles has always been my weakest topic and till now it is still. I shall study for it and see how it goes. Damn worried though. 

Can't wait for Photo IG outing on the 20th where we are going to shoot fireworks! WOOOOTS! Went to shoot with cousin that day and my photo turns out crappy because the smoke screw it! I was so pissed omg. I definitely need to try again! And i wont give up! Hahaha! ^^

Its 1015 right now and i can't seem to sleep. I can't shut down my lappy either because i know once i lie on my bed i'll start to think. And dammit cause i really don't want to think about it. Well, i should probably go and make some notes for my Math revision. Goodnight peeps.

Oh yeah, Beedoh beedoh beedoh beedoh!! TEEHEEE! ^^

Dying.

Sometimes i over think and imagine everything to be too wonderful.

Its amazing how things happen unplanned. As much as i dislike it whenever you text me because it makes me start hoping for it all over again, i feel that rush of adrenaline at the same time. I don't understand why i react this way, but just by seeing your name when my phone lights up, it kind of make my day.

That day i talked about how i wanted to put him away from my life, i went to school the next day without talking about him. I was feeling a little empty and moody but everything was alright. When i was half way through the day without any climax, i received his sms. As usual, I died. 

I realise its kind of impossible to not think about it at all, even for just a day. Is this how it feels to love someone? Erm... HAHA. That word... Love?.. As a 17 year old, who am i to say anything? 

I miss you dude. Really really really do. 

Kinda tired of talking about him all the time, but it makes me happy. Yes, even when it's one sided. The day i'm gonna get over it is perhaps the day  he falls in love with someone else. 

Where got time to love? Hahah. Having this love hate relationship with school. I love it when i get really busy with projects and all because it kind of prevents me from thinking but on the other hand, i hate it because i can't cope. Everything is coming at one go. Projects and tests and then projects again and tests and the cycle repeats. It seems never ending and i'm on the verge of giving up.

Photo IG just ended not long and here i am at dance practice chionging my homework and blogging. Anyways, i can't wait to head back to Woodlands Ring on the 20th. Seeing my form teacher all serves as a motivation for me to not give up. Alright, shall head back to my work. Take care all! 

Irony

Sometimes I hate how we loses focus on the important things in life. We have all the happy stuff that is going on yet we choose to put our attention on what makes us upset. We all know that we shouldn't rely our happiness on something that we might lose yet that is what makes us happy. Isn't it ironic?


Its Monday. I don't usually feel blue on Monday but today was kind of... Blue. I have no idea why. I guess its because i have decided to put that guy away from my life and i'm feeling kind of weird right now cause i'm trying hard not to talk about him to anyone. I can't talk about him. Although when i do it makes me really high and happy, but i know i shouldn't. Its for the best, right?

Thinking about it, it has been pretty long since i last felt this way. Empty. I'm really exhausted. I know i have people around me that i can relate things to but sometimes some feelings just can't be described. Perhaps its not the feeling that i can't describe, but the reason to why i am feeling this way, i don't know. And so what if you tell them about how you feel? They don't understand. Even when they say they do, they don't. Ultimately it is still about me.

Thinking has become a habit since the day all these started - waking up and going to sleep to the thoughts of you. It has been a few months and i'm feeling really exhausted now. Exhausted because i'm thinking too much, exhausted because i have been trying so hard, exhausted because no matter how hard i try, i couldn't get your attention. But the best part is, i don't know what to do to stop all these thoughts from coming in. What am i suppose to do? I feel like a clown. I don't understand myself at all. We don't even have much memories together and its pretty obvious that you don't feel the same. But...

I always believe that when i try hard enough to get over it, i will. But i have been waiting for that day that i don't think about it for a minute or two and it never happens. I guess its time for me to not do anything anymore. Perhaps one day, i will really understand the meaning of 'The person you want the most is the one you are better off without.'

Sometimes you just got to take a break and stop trying. Goodnight guys.