Its been long since i felt this level of tiredness. Physically i mean. But i'm still gonna blog first. Cause first, its been kind of long since i last posted and second, i'm feeling a little messed up.
Honestly blogging about my problems may seems like i'm a problematic person. But every time after i blog, i feel clearer about the things that i want to do. I think thats the most important isn't it? So for those who actually read my blog, bear with me. I'm not those type of blogger that post nice pictures and talks about daily life all the time. This is just a place for me to let out all my emotions.
Okay. Here i go.
So, its been long since i go back to work. Not really long. About 3 weeks. And 3 days ago was considered my first day. Keeping the reason why i actually chose to quit in the first place in mind, i told myself there is a need for change. If i wanna avoid problems, i have to start learning how to keep low-profile. I did. I stopped talking about anything that is outside of work. And yeah, i felt good. Cause i know i did the right thing.
Few days back i went out with my best friend from secondary school. We had a good talk for a few hours and i went for work. I realise that i actually felt so different when i'm with the 2 different groups of people. When i'm with my friend, i felt like myself. Its like i can be myself and i know i will be fine. But when i'm at work, i can't be myself. I feel like i'm so fake. Because of our age difference, i wanted acceptance from the people at work. Therefore i try so hard to blend in. To a point whereby i'm afraid that i might just lose myself and get carried away. I'm so afraid that i might change into the person i was in the past. I can't afford to walk back that old path again. I want to feel like myself. Like how i feel when i'm with my friend, having all my morals in me and seeing who i really am. I know, keeping low-profile is good. Its the first step to walking away from all those thoughts about changing negatively.
My brain is still too busy thinking. But my eyes are so dry its killing me. So, goodnight.
Saturday, 23 February 2013
Monday, 18 February 2013
Blood Donation
Honestly i've never wanted to do anything so badly. Yeah, i wanna donate blood. HAHAHA. Quite a lot happened today and i realise i'm really kinda stupid. Its funny when people call me dumb or silly or stupid in the past i take it as a joke and think that they are joking. But today, I myself can't tank already. Even my mum. HAHAHA. I got to admit that i'm dumb.
So since i'm not outstanding in anyway and can't do much for the society, the only thing i can do for now is probably to donate what i can. I don't have much money. But i'm healthy so i can donate my blood! ^^ I plucked up my courage and walk into the bloodbank at civic centre today. The nurse asked 'First time?' I was like, yeah. First time. So she told me to follow her cause she wanna check my blood. Halfway through, she said 'Wait, what's your weight?' I was like ohhh man.. She brought me to check my weight. I was sooooooooooo close! The requirement was 45 kg. And i was 0.4kg away. HOMYGOD. WHY OH WHY. I was damn sad. But its okay. Next month imma go back there. HEHEHE. Excited x197314657816347561
Going for a morning jog with mum tomorrow. Gotta head to bed early. Bye! ^^
So since i'm not outstanding in anyway and can't do much for the society, the only thing i can do for now is probably to donate what i can. I don't have much money. But i'm healthy so i can donate my blood! ^^ I plucked up my courage and walk into the bloodbank at civic centre today. The nurse asked 'First time?' I was like, yeah. First time. So she told me to follow her cause she wanna check my blood. Halfway through, she said 'Wait, what's your weight?' I was like ohhh man.. She brought me to check my weight. I was sooooooooooo close! The requirement was 45 kg. And i was 0.4kg away. HOMYGOD. WHY OH WHY. I was damn sad. But its okay. Next month imma go back there. HEHEHE. Excited x197314657816347561
Going for a morning jog with mum tomorrow. Gotta head to bed early. Bye! ^^
Sunday, 17 February 2013
RWS
Home is still the best! Spent a night at RWS yesterday! Its not exactly very fun. But together with the aunties and uncles, it feels like Taiwan again. Hahah. Didn't really sleep well cause the room was so freaking cold i almost died. Woke up at 6 cause my bro forgot to off his freaking alarm. Damn epic. HAHA!
Went Marine Life Park! OMG. THE FISHES THERE ARE SO.... CUTE!!!!!! AND I TOUCHED THE STARFISH!!!!!!! BAHAHAH!!! IT FEELS LIKE SANDPAPER. Its damn cute. And i think the starfishes are scared. I mean, if its me i will also be scared right? Lucky starfishes can't talk. Or they'll be like 'Walan eh fuck off ley!' HAHAHAH!! I mean, so many people crowded around to touch. Its okay. I was telling the starfishes not to be scared. IN MY HEART I MEAN. HAHAHA. Err... I think i'm weird. HAHAHA.
Heading to RP tomorrow to get enrolled. Hahah. Really excited for school to start. I need to get myself occupied so bad. And i've gotten my ass back to GI alr. Oh yeah, there's this smth i wanna confess. I did closing with Zixian and Raymond that day. Actually, Raymond is really not that bad. I mean, he has been trying to make job so much easier for us. After closing that day, i find myself really childish to judge him by the little things that he do and what people say. I might not have enough courage to apologise in his face for all the bad things that i've said about him last time. And i don't think there's really a need too. I just feel real bad and now i'm gonna stop being judgemental and kick that bad habit honestly.
But sometimes when i think again, i don't think the way i judge people is wrong. I judge you by the things that you do. Maybe not the first time. But if you're gonna make the same mistake for the second or third time, then i guess.... First you obviously haven't learn you mistake and second you probably wants to be judged. Lol. Yeah i judged myself when i make the same mistake for more than once too. LOL.
Okay, bye peeps! ^^
Went Marine Life Park! OMG. THE FISHES THERE ARE SO.... CUTE!!!!!! AND I TOUCHED THE STARFISH!!!!!!! BAHAHAH!!! IT FEELS LIKE SANDPAPER. Its damn cute. And i think the starfishes are scared. I mean, if its me i will also be scared right? Lucky starfishes can't talk. Or they'll be like 'Walan eh fuck off ley!' HAHAHAH!! I mean, so many people crowded around to touch. Its okay. I was telling the starfishes not to be scared. IN MY HEART I MEAN. HAHAHA. Err... I think i'm weird. HAHAHA.
Heading to RP tomorrow to get enrolled. Hahah. Really excited for school to start. I need to get myself occupied so bad. And i've gotten my ass back to GI alr. Oh yeah, there's this smth i wanna confess. I did closing with Zixian and Raymond that day. Actually, Raymond is really not that bad. I mean, he has been trying to make job so much easier for us. After closing that day, i find myself really childish to judge him by the little things that he do and what people say. I might not have enough courage to apologise in his face for all the bad things that i've said about him last time. And i don't think there's really a need too. I just feel real bad and now i'm gonna stop being judgemental and kick that bad habit honestly.
But sometimes when i think again, i don't think the way i judge people is wrong. I judge you by the things that you do. Maybe not the first time. But if you're gonna make the same mistake for the second or third time, then i guess.... First you obviously haven't learn you mistake and second you probably wants to be judged. Lol. Yeah i judged myself when i make the same mistake for more than once too. LOL.
Okay, bye peeps! ^^
Wednesday, 13 February 2013
Chinese New Year
OMG. Feels like damn freaking long since i last posted! Hahaha! I had been busy with all the house visits and stuff like that. And yesterday, it was people's turn to visit mua house! ^^ I'm so happy cause i didn't have to wear dress. HAHAH!
So, i woke up at around 8 to go to the market with fam. It was so hard to find a place to have breakfast cause most of the stalls are closed! But we got it settled anyways. HAHA. Yup, we went market afterwards to get all the ingredients so we can prepare for lunch.
We reach home around 12 and my uncle was so nice to come over and cook for us! I swear, his fried hokkien prawn mee is damn damn damn awesome. And i had so many sotong balls. HAHAHA! ALL TIME FAV! At around 5, almost everybody are gambling alr. And me? I was playing with my niece! HAHA! For the whole entire day. Damn shag. She's like super energetic and i just felt old. 17 and old. HAHAH!
I finally got a chance to leave house around 8.50 to go and fetch my bro to my place. Caught up with him on the way. I guess he is kind of bored cause there's really nothing much to do. But i'm still glad for his presence or else i would have bored myself to death.
At around 1130, everybody starts to leave cause my siblings had class the following day. Standard procedure, we start cleaning up. At about 1:30, i was soooo tired i just closed my eyes and i fell asleep. HAHA! Yup, that was my yesterday.
Today! Woke up at 8:30, got prepared and went for Medical check. I swear i don't like hospitals, especially the smell. OMG. But anyways. So i went and waited for about an hour for my turn. The first check was chest X-ray. IT WAS SO... AWKWARD. The person made me change out of my blouse into the X-ray gown. So i stepped into the room, took off my blouse and whatever and put tried so hard to put on the gown. I started at the instuctions for about 5 minutes trying to figure out how to put it on. It was stupid. Seriously. In the end, i took about 15 minutes, thinking it should be fine. But i actually wore it wrongly........ Hais. I can totally kill myself for that. The second part was height and weight. Apparently, i'm underwight by afew kilos. I think the doctor made a mistake. Cause i swear, MY JEANS GOT TIGHTER. Alah, whatever. And then i went to see the doctor. He didn't say much. Just told me to report on Friday to collect the results. So.... Yup.
Nothing much for today! And, its time for work tomorrow! ^^ Oh yeah,
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYBODY!!! ^^
IF YOU DON'T HAVE A DATE, DON'T FEEL SAD! CAUSE I LOVE YOU!!!! ^^
So, i woke up at around 8 to go to the market with fam. It was so hard to find a place to have breakfast cause most of the stalls are closed! But we got it settled anyways. HAHA. Yup, we went market afterwards to get all the ingredients so we can prepare for lunch.
We reach home around 12 and my uncle was so nice to come over and cook for us! I swear, his fried hokkien prawn mee is damn damn damn awesome. And i had so many sotong balls. HAHAHA! ALL TIME FAV! At around 5, almost everybody are gambling alr. And me? I was playing with my niece! HAHA! For the whole entire day. Damn shag. She's like super energetic and i just felt old. 17 and old. HAHAH!
I finally got a chance to leave house around 8.50 to go and fetch my bro to my place. Caught up with him on the way. I guess he is kind of bored cause there's really nothing much to do. But i'm still glad for his presence or else i would have bored myself to death.
At around 1130, everybody starts to leave cause my siblings had class the following day. Standard procedure, we start cleaning up. At about 1:30, i was soooo tired i just closed my eyes and i fell asleep. HAHA! Yup, that was my yesterday.
Today! Woke up at 8:30, got prepared and went for Medical check. I swear i don't like hospitals, especially the smell. OMG. But anyways. So i went and waited for about an hour for my turn. The first check was chest X-ray. IT WAS SO... AWKWARD. The person made me change out of my blouse into the X-ray gown. So i stepped into the room, took off my blouse and whatever and put tried so hard to put on the gown. I started at the instuctions for about 5 minutes trying to figure out how to put it on. It was stupid. Seriously. In the end, i took about 15 minutes, thinking it should be fine. But i actually wore it wrongly........ Hais. I can totally kill myself for that. The second part was height and weight. Apparently, i'm underwight by afew kilos. I think the doctor made a mistake. Cause i swear, MY JEANS GOT TIGHTER. Alah, whatever. And then i went to see the doctor. He didn't say much. Just told me to report on Friday to collect the results. So.... Yup.
Nothing much for today! And, its time for work tomorrow! ^^ Oh yeah,
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYBODY!!! ^^
IF YOU DON'T HAVE A DATE, DON'T FEEL SAD! CAUSE I LOVE YOU!!!! ^^
Saturday, 9 February 2013
Chinese new year eve
BAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! A minute ago i had my blog post almost ready and i accidentally cleared everything so now i'll have to retype. KILL ME PLEASE. OMG. Okay, i was saying ITS CHINESE NEW YEAR EVE! ^^ I'm damn excited for tomorrow! HEHE. Oh yeah, i haven't been posting consistently recently cause i'm lazy. HEEEEEEEEEEEES! I'm trying to maintain already! HEHEH!!
Had an Ah Boys To Men outing yesterday with babe and the fireass! Apparently a few of the boys are going into army on the 13th of Feb so we decided to have a gathering. We went AMK for dinner and then went to play pool. And something idiotic happened. This guy....... OKAY. HE SAID I CAN REVEAL HIS NAME. BUT NOOOO. I'm not going to cause i'm SUPPOSE to get over it already. Okay, so this is what happened. My cousin was telling me he has big boobs. Like, bigger than mine. K BRO. K. HAHAHA! But yeah. So i showed him this my friend's photo on instagram cause in that pic he had boobs too. AHHHHHHH. Feeling damn paiseh thinking of it. And his photo is in his friend's instagram. So meaning i'm looking at my friend's photo through his friend's profile. (sound like an ultimate stalker) Anyways, and this guy, HE WENT TO DOUBLE TAP THAT FUCKING PHOTO. OMFG. Okay, i suddenly can't get over it again. LIKE WTF!!! Ahh. Whatever. HAHAHA. Its just a photo. Doesn't matter. Does it? HAHAH! I guess it only matters cause i'm damn worried that people might misunderstand.
Alright! Heading over to granny's now! Gonna be back in awhile! Shall continue my post tonight ^^
Had an Ah Boys To Men outing yesterday with babe and the fireass! Apparently a few of the boys are going into army on the 13th of Feb so we decided to have a gathering. We went AMK for dinner and then went to play pool. And something idiotic happened. This guy....... OKAY. HE SAID I CAN REVEAL HIS NAME. BUT NOOOO. I'm not going to cause i'm SUPPOSE to get over it already. Okay, so this is what happened. My cousin was telling me he has big boobs. Like, bigger than mine. K BRO. K. HAHAHA! But yeah. So i showed him this my friend's photo on instagram cause in that pic he had boobs too. AHHHHHHH. Feeling damn paiseh thinking of it. And his photo is in his friend's instagram. So meaning i'm looking at my friend's photo through his friend's profile. (sound like an ultimate stalker) Anyways, and this guy, HE WENT TO DOUBLE TAP THAT FUCKING PHOTO. OMFG. Okay, i suddenly can't get over it again. LIKE WTF!!! Ahh. Whatever. HAHAHA. Its just a photo. Doesn't matter. Does it? HAHAH! I guess it only matters cause i'm damn worried that people might misunderstand.
Alright! Heading over to granny's now! Gonna be back in awhile! Shall continue my post tonight ^^
Wednesday, 6 February 2013
Snowball
Went session with Jonyes today! He really taught me quite a lot although i still suck at the freezes and also damn freaking gu niang to try out a lot of them. But i learnt how to do six-step, seven-step, the 3 types of top rock and shoulder freeze today!! ^^ Okay, shoulder freeze i haven't done it yet. But i know i will get it someday! ^^
Okay, Snowball. I have been missing Snowball a lot recently. Like really damn lot. To be very honest she had been like my lover at home. HAHA. Every night when i can't sleep, especially during my N level period when i had insomnia, she's always there! ^^ Staying by my side, sleeping on my back, listening to my crap. I know, some people will say its stupid. Its just a dog. But come on, its exactly the same like your children. The only difference is dogs can't talk. So to those who say that dogs are just animals and stuff, FUCK YOU.
I really kind of regret not speaking up that day. But so what if i did? The whole family agreed. What can i do about it? I really miss her so badly. Its like, missing your boyfriend when he's away and knowing that he'll never come back. Yes, its that bad.
That time when he left, Snowball was there. All the time. It may sound stupid to some people. But when everyone is asleep at night and i'm there all alone, she's the one whose awake accompanying me all night. But now... I hate myself for being vulnerable. Why can't i survive on my own? Why must i always get myself into shit that i know i might never get out of? Why do i trust people so easily? Why do i fall for sweet talkings? It really sucked being me.
I never really understand this quote until recently. But.. Yeah..
A dog is the only thing on Earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings
Okay, Snowball. I have been missing Snowball a lot recently. Like really damn lot. To be very honest she had been like my lover at home. HAHA. Every night when i can't sleep, especially during my N level period when i had insomnia, she's always there! ^^ Staying by my side, sleeping on my back, listening to my crap. I know, some people will say its stupid. Its just a dog. But come on, its exactly the same like your children. The only difference is dogs can't talk. So to those who say that dogs are just animals and stuff, FUCK YOU.
I really kind of regret not speaking up that day. But so what if i did? The whole family agreed. What can i do about it? I really miss her so badly. Its like, missing your boyfriend when he's away and knowing that he'll never come back. Yes, its that bad.
That time when he left, Snowball was there. All the time. It may sound stupid to some people. But when everyone is asleep at night and i'm there all alone, she's the one whose awake accompanying me all night. But now... I hate myself for being vulnerable. Why can't i survive on my own? Why must i always get myself into shit that i know i might never get out of? Why do i trust people so easily? Why do i fall for sweet talkings? It really sucked being me.
I never really understand this quote until recently. But.. Yeah..
A dog is the only thing on Earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings
Monday, 4 February 2013
Wilson
Okay, so this guy. He wanted me to blog about him. HAHAH! His skin is like thicker than wall please. HAHAH!! OMGOMG. Wilson, SEE THAT. HAHAH! So today's post shall be about him! ^^
Wilson, be honoured okay! I freaking dedicated my one day blog post to you! HAHAHA! Well, i'm not good with words when it comes to face to face. So, i'm just gonna say whatever that i can here. And i'm serious about every word! Don't worry, no confession taking place my dear. HAHAH! You can really be an ass at times you know. Like, when you take me as a joke (as always) or when you tease me. Hahah! You can probably compare your skin to the wall. Its going to be either as thick or thicker! x: Bahahha!!! I'm joking ^^ Okay honestly other than the times when you were a pain-in-the-ass, you're really nice ^^ Thanks for sparing me so much of your time to hear me out and stuff. I know its not easy. To hear people talk about their life and keep going on and on. But if it wasn't for you, i might still be stuck in difficult situations. All these little things that you do makes you a really wonderful person. I'm so glad we're such awesome friends and when one of us suck, YEAH. WE SUCK TGT OKAY ASSHOLE. HAHAH! Don't worry. I still love you even you suck to the very max <3 Although its kind of like the max alr. HAHAHHA! WHATEVER! HAHA! See you real soon ass. And, quit la. Really. AHAHA!
THERE YOU GO WILSON. YOU'RE VERY WELCOME FOR THIS POST. HAHAHA!
Nobody can ever beat your bitchiness. ^^
Wilson, be honoured okay! I freaking dedicated my one day blog post to you! HAHAHA! Well, i'm not good with words when it comes to face to face. So, i'm just gonna say whatever that i can here. And i'm serious about every word! Don't worry, no confession taking place my dear. HAHAH! You can really be an ass at times you know. Like, when you take me as a joke (as always) or when you tease me. Hahah! You can probably compare your skin to the wall. Its going to be either as thick or thicker! x: Bahahha!!! I'm joking ^^ Okay honestly other than the times when you were a pain-in-the-ass, you're really nice ^^ Thanks for sparing me so much of your time to hear me out and stuff. I know its not easy. To hear people talk about their life and keep going on and on. But if it wasn't for you, i might still be stuck in difficult situations. All these little things that you do makes you a really wonderful person. I'm so glad we're such awesome friends and when one of us suck, YEAH. WE SUCK TGT OKAY ASSHOLE. HAHAH! Don't worry. I still love you even you suck to the very max <3 Although its kind of like the max alr. HAHAHHA! WHATEVER! HAHA! See you real soon ass. And, quit la. Really. AHAHA!
THERE YOU GO WILSON. YOU'RE VERY WELCOME FOR THIS POST. HAHAHA!
Nobody can ever beat your bitchiness. ^^
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