New life to me

Had a super long night. Went town with mum in the morning and then class bbq at pasir ris park after. And it is the first time i actually stayed out for the night.

Yesterday, i made a decision to move on. I know i had been saying that forever. But its different this time. Well it really did feel different for once. And so i declared my new life 2 days before the real one comes. HAHA. I know right. #ShitthatAngelasaysanddoes

It was a drink drank drunk night at the bbq. And of course i regretted drinking that much. Not too much, but never had so much in my life. And i kind of realise that my mindset about getting high and being not sober will make me happy is not quite right. I know its childish and shit. But well, we all experience to learn right. Don't judge. HAHAH

It doesn't matter how much you drink and how drunk you get. Because when you wake up the next day, its still a brand new day and you still got to face it. Yourself.
Last night was indeed yolo. And once is enough.

Because at the end of the day, the only thing we wish for is to have brought joy and laughter in the person's life. 

25th of December

Merry Christmas babies! 

Well, Christmas has always been my favourite festival since everywhere i go i hear Christmas songs see pretty lights ^^

Doesn't matter what day it is. When there are thoughts to be sorted out, it needs to be.

Took me long enough to see things through. Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me. And at this rate of hurting i get, i should probably dig a hole hide in there and never come out. 

Its sad that things are happening this way. Sometimes I choose to believe that whatever that is happening is just in my head. Those thoughts, those feelings and everything. But I know, if it wasn’t for your words, I wouldn’t have held on for so long. A new year is starting very soon and I don’t want to be the same old me clinging onto guys anymore.

The only person who remembers to hug me every time before we part.

All those things that I thought didn’t matter, they do. I thought I could watch you live your life the way you do but still continue to remain where we are but I can’t. Watching you not giving a shit it kills me a little more every single time. No matter what I’ve said before, part of me is as selfish and I still want us to be together. But I know we will never be, for whatever reasons.

Doesn’t really matter anymore, does it? How I feel, how we are, what are we.

Whatever it is, It’s the 25^th of December. Merry Christmas! ^^

As usual.

Had been a pretty long day today. It was kind of.. Bad i guess. With this cramp going on plus the muscle-ache from PE yesterday and the bad night sleep because of that irritating car's alarm from right below my house.

Been thinking a lot, as usual. And i kind of see things a little clearer now. Who cares, who doesn't. And who pretended. But i guess all these don't quite matter anymore. It use to mean a lot to me. Because i thought if i were to keep treating people like how i want to be treated, people will do the same. But i was wrong. It doesn't work that way. People don't treat you nicely and sincerely just because you do. If i were to keep going back to people who don't give a shit and stick through them, at the end of the day i'll be the one getting hurt. Over and over. And after all these shit that i've put myself through, i think i'm pretty much done. I don't have much time and there's only so much that i can do. I got to move on with my life. I have goals, family and friends who really care even though they don't say it. And i know they do because no matter what happens, they are always there. And maybe this is what you do when you truly care. You show them that you will always be there. Its never going to be about words anymore. If you really think that i am important to you, show me that i am.

I'm so tired now i can't even move my arms. Can you imagine how im typing now? Hahah! Gotta go shower and take a nap before starting on my assignments. Feeling like a dog now. Anyways, bye! ^^ Cramps urgh..

Life changes

Finally booked my tickets for Bali Island. Like finally! I can't wait to get out of this little red dot even if its just for that 4 days. Hehehe! 

Spent the whole entire day with my family today and my mum kind of talked me into making certain changes in my life. She's right. At some point of our life, we have to make certain decisions for the sake of people we cared about. And i've decided to learn beauty from her plus taking up courses from her company and help her in her shop. This is probably one of the biggest change in my life until today. I'm never really into those stuff and i never really cared. Hahaha. But yeah, its time for a change and maybe then i can quit GI for real. 

Its time for bed now and my training starts tomorrow. So, goodnight! 

I don't like the nights

Its been long. Hehehe. But life's pretty good recently! Just that i've gotten myself pretty sick yesterday and today. HAHA. Rusty pipe throat and running tap nose i'll like to call it. HAHAHA!

Went to the airport with parents just now for a walk. I like that place. Although (as much as i'd like to) i can't get out of this little red dot anytime soon, i like to imagine myself taking the flight and just leaving this place for a while. I'm so tired. Even though i'm having holidays now, i feel even more tired than i am when i have school. Because i'm on holidays and there's nothing for me to do, i spend too much time thinking about stuff. Trust me its super tiring to keep thinking and thinking. Especially at night. Those thoughts keep me awake. Even when i'm really tired, i can't sleep. It is really so bad i can't describe it. I use to love the nights. But i just don't anymore. Well.. Should have learnt right? Not to ever rely. 

Going out with parents tomorrow and i should really head to bed now. Goodnight guys ;)

Please don't give me the attention and then the next moment leave me in the middle of nowhere. You are really super important to me. Please don't do this to me. Because its you, it breaks my heart so much more than anybody else. 

Sealand without sea

Was so sad because i thought the family chalet was going to be at Pasir Ris beach but it ended up at Changi treehouse. Meaning there was no sea although that place was called Sealand Road or something like that. But it wasn't that bad. Cause almost everyone turned up. And that makes up more than 60 people. Imagine that guys. HAHAHA.

Family gathering. As usual, questions were asked. Hahaha! I think the next family gathering i should really wear a board that explains everything about myself including what PFP is. HAHAH! But i like how we get to catch up with each other once in a while like that. It is really heartwarming ^^

Finally set a date to go out with my beloved cousin. It has been damn long since we last go out to shop together. Have got so much to tell her i think she'll be surprised by all the changes in mua life. Hahah! Alright, shall really head to bed already since there's meeting tomorrow. Goodnight all! ^^

Monday blues at da beach

Its Mondayyyy! Can't wait for tonight because i'm going to Pasir Ris park for aunty's chalet. Not that i'm really close with that aunty or what. But its beachhhhh! Heheheh! Meaning i can heart to heart with that cousin that i haven't seen for long enough and i can shoot! Eggcited girl! Dad took off tomorrow so we can go out out together but sadly i've got to return to school for meeting before my family outing.

I requested Raymond to transfer me to Jcube instead of working in Bugis. Hahaha. Bugis had been like my home but i guess its time to finally make a decision for myself. Jcube is so much nearer to my house and the closing time even for weekends is 2300. Its really more convenient.

Ogayyy i'm going for breakfast now! Nope, lunch! Hahaha! Bye bye all!